Whether you’re speaking to a loved one before or after a funeral service, or preparing a eulogy, it can be difficult to know what to say. People often find themselves worrying that in an attempt to help calm a grieving friend or family member, they may accidentally further upset them. This is why we’ve put together some helpful tips on what to say at a funeral.

What to Say Before & After a Funeral

It’s always important to check in on your friends and family in the lead up to and in the time following a funeral. While you may feel awkward bringing up the deceased, you are allowing them to be open with their feelings and begin or continue the grieving process by asking about them. Be sure to check in on them and their mental health, and offer a helping hand if you think it’s necessary.

What to Say at the Service

When attending a funeral service, you should offer your sympathies to the family. Here are a few basic examples of what you could say:

  • I’m sorry for your loss
  • They will be missed dearly
  • You and your family are in my thoughts

If you were close with the deceased and their family, you could also say something about the person who has passed if you feel comfortable doing so.

What to Include in a Eulogy

Realistically, there is no universally accepted way to write a eulogy in a way that will make grieving people feel better. You should write from the heart and say how you feel about the person. If you feel comfortable, you could include personal anecdotes about the deceased. Describe their qualities and personality, or their career, passions and personal feats they reached in their life. You could mention their relationship with their friends and family, and be sure to thank people for coming to the service and for their continued support.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing a eulogy:

  • Never come unprepared – you may feel you will know what you want to say, however on the day you may be more emotional than expected. Take some time beforehand to organise your thoughts and bring notes with you.
  • Practice what you’re going to say in advance, either by yourself or with close family members.
  • Don’t feel as though it needs to be a long speech – if you’d prefer, keep your comments short, sweet and to the point.
  • It’s okay to set boundaries about what you’re comfortable talking about.

Things to Avoid Saying at a Funeral

Platitudes such as “they had a good life” or “they’re in a better place” should be avoided at funerals – phrases like these can sometimes minimise a person’s grief. You should also avoid saying things like “I know how you feel”, even if you have suffered a similar loss. While you may be saying this as a way to empathise with your friend or family member, you’re shifting the focus from their feelings to yours. While there may be a time later on when you can share your personal experiences and tips on how you grieved and what helped you, a funeral is not the right place for those kinds of conversations.

Why Choose Silver Dove?

At Silver Dove Funerals, the caring of your loved one is handled in-house, the entire way by our highly trained and experienced staff. We have provided care to many Queensland families during their time of need, giving us the experience, knowledge, and understanding to cater to the wishes and requests of all types of families and from all walks of life. Our genuine compassion and confidence set us apart, and that is why we guarantee a high level of service and care for you and your family. Whether you require simplicity, tradition, or a more elaborate funeral celebration, you can rely on us. We are located in the Western Suburbs of Brisbane where we service the greater Brisbane region, including the areas of Springfield, Toowoomba, Sunshine and Gold Coasts, Greenbank and Goodna.

If you are looking for funeral assistance, At-Need Funeral Services, Prearrangement, or Prepayment of funeral services, please reach out to us today, we can take your call anytime day or night on (07) 3279 5388 or 0407 725 595.